"Rei" of Hope

To the constant and ever-flaming bright "rei" of hope in my life,

Happy second birthday!!  :)

A Rhetorical Question

Having worked previously in the Intensive Care Unit for almost 3 years, I am no stranger to something that many people view as taboo..

Death

We would break the bad news to a couple of our patients' grief-stricken families on a daily basis, to the extent that sometimes, especially after a harrowing 32 -hour on -call, death, God forbid, became almost a matter-of-fact... Yes, it was as if my conscience and compassion had suffered a massive stroke, and I had become paralysed and devoid of the ability to Empathise.... This was, one of the main reasons why I left critical care... I needed a clinical rehabilitation, to remind myself again the immense privilege that is to being someone's doctor.

Today, one of my patients looked me in the eye, and as she struggled to catch her breath, asked me outright:

" Doctor, am I dying?"

This is the first time in my medical career that someone asked me this question. Well, most of my previous critical patients were either comatosed or had a breathing tube in their mouth, so they couldn't have asked me this question even if they had wanted to.

"Is this how it all ends?"

I could hear the wheels in my brain engaging rapidly in full gear. How, how should I respond to this? Should I tell her that she is indeed dying and all her suffering will pass from here on, or should I continue to give her hope so that her inevitable journey to death will be less dreadful?

I steadied my humbled self and took her hands in mine..As I brushed the beads of sweat off her forehead, I gently alluded to the fact that the inevitable is indeed drawing near, but I would ensure the journey would be well supported, comfortable and most importantly, dignified...

I realise that in our current medical culture, we are, most of the time, pre-occupied with treatment and cure, that we sometimes overlook the fact that the journey of dying, is also as important, both to the patient and also to their loved ones... what can be more comforting for the carers than seeing their dying loved ones go in peace, and at least, with dignity?

She mustered her strength and gave me a smile, but very soon after, lapsed into a peaceful state of subconsciousness.... 

The above image was downloaded from www.glatfelterhealthcarepractice.com

Cake and candles

You know how some people refuse to reveal their age, and insist that they are always 21?

I can finally understand why now.

There comes a time in our lives when we feel that we want to put a brake on the bullet train that is Life.
There comes a time when we feel that time, is never enough.
That we want to make the most of our lives, but we are not sure where to start.

Is this what people call a mid-life crisis?

But I'm nowhere near that yet.

For the past few years, my birthday has felt the same as the ones before. Carefree and young, with little to ask for, not much more to hope for.

But today, as I march into my 31st birthday, I feel liberated, and insanely grateful. For the first time in my life, my path is not set, and the possibilities are endless. It is rather unsettling, but also exciting at the same time.

And I have my loving husband and beautiful daughter by my side, embarking on this journey together. Hand- in- hand.

And my family and friends who have tirelessly supported me all these years.

What more can I ask for? =)

Happily ever after

it's been a long hiatus...

you know how people always say that time flies when you are having fun?
it's so true..

the past month has just flown by like fine grains of sand rushing through between our fingers. So poignant but so impossible to hold still in the face of time..

The start of April marked the day when one of my best friends got married. It was, truthfully, the wedding of the century.
Beautiful roses adorning the canopy that rested so idly on the pristine beaches of Langkawi
Tears of joy and wonderment as we witness the perfect union of two people brought together by true love

As I watch my beautiful friend walk down the sandy aisle, my heart was bursting with poignant nostalgia of the times we shared in Melbourne, and my eyes were brimming with tears of joy and blessing. The concoction of feelings that one feels when a dearest friend so kind and true, ends up with someone who truly accepts her and appreciates her for who she is, is, simply, indescribable....

Congratulations my dearest, dearest friend.....

Food for "Tot": Creamy Chicken & Cheese Pastry

To all the new mums out there, have you ever had a problem with finding just the right stuff that your new baby will at least spare a nibble for?

As my child march into her 17th month, her taste buds are also fast developing, and they leave no mercy for bland and mushy "baby food". 

Food that she once fancied, including good ol' porridge and steamed fish have quite literally, been thrown out of the window. For the past few weeks, since I've got some time at home at the moment, I've decided to try to come up with a few easy -to-do recipes that might just tantalise her taste buds.

And today, I seem to had struck gold with this:

This is sooo simple and quick to do and so yummy! Plus, your kid will eat the vegetables without even realising it! You can make your own puff pastry but really, every minute and second of free time is oh so precious to a new mum, so no one when give you grief if you just pick them up from the supermarket. Try it! =)

Creamy Chicken and Cheese Pastry
Prep time : 10min
Baking time: 15min

Ingredients: (makes 4 small pastries, my 17 month old can finish 1 and a half)

Puff pastry sheets (4 squares about 12cm in length)
100g  chicken breast (cut into small bite-sized dices)
2 tablespoons sweet corn kernels
2 small baby carrots (cut into small circles)
1 teaspoon broccoli (using only the top bit)
3 tablespoons milk/ 2 tablespoons cream
1 teaspoon butter
A pinch of salt 
1 slice of cheese (cut into small pieces)
1 beaten egg
1 teaspoon cornflour (mix in 1 teaspoon water)

In a saucepan, melt the butter and fry the chicken dices until it's almost cooked through. 
Add in the corn, broccoli and carrots. 
After stir- frying for about 1 minute, add in the milk/ cream, whichever is available. 
Flavour with a pinch of salt.
Sprinkle the cheese over the mixture.
After the cheese has melted, stir in the corn starch mixture
After the sauce has thickened, put aside to cool.
Take a sheet of puff pastry and put 2 tablespoons of filling in the center.
Fold up all four corners of the pastry and press the edges together. Make sure that the edges are joined and that you haven't overfilled the pastry, so as to prevent the pastry from opening up later whilst baking.
Using a fork, press along the edges of the pastry to make nice imprints and also to lock the edges together.
Brush the surface with beaten egg.
Place in the oven and bake for about 15 min or until it turns golden brown.

Tadaaaa! :) It's just so satisfying to FINALLY see the little one gobble down the food happily. She even did her signature "happy dance"! ;)

More to come!

L.O.V.E

Who is wise in love, love most, say least.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

The above cannot be more apt for the man of my life. 
Thank you for making me feel loved every single day. 

Happy anniversary...